Montpellier!

Well, well, well, where did I last leave you… I dunno, so let’s be clear… I’m on the French Riviera, yes, I know life is tough, but hey what can you do? As I mentioned after I left London I was with Lea in Montpellier… it was a while ago now so please excuse me as I struggle (n my old age) and try and recall what mischief we got up to. And yes, I will perhaps use photo recall, good idea me.

Ok, Montpellier, I arrived on a cloudy afternoon, but it was still a pleasant change after London and the Lakes District. We went directly from the airport to the beach so that Lea’s friend Jerome, and ???, could play some sort of beach badminton (ah the French) and Lea and I could catch up.

Later Lea showed me to her gorgeous little apartment in the heart of the city. In fact quite near a lot of kebab stores so I got to practice my Arabic too. Much to Lea’s surprise and exclamation!

Lea took me through a variety of tourist activities; all thoroughly appreciated by me let me tell you. We went around the old town in the evening and checked out all the magnificent buildings, we went for lunch in a French restaurant and ate three delicious courses… so the education in French cuisine began too… and of course we went to the Aussie pub.

Let me explain a few things first; because of the famous ‘greve’ on France’s transport (strike) my train was delayed a day. Right, got it? Yep, and because we showed Lea such a great time in Australia she is an honourary Australian and loves the place. D’accord. So anyway Lea had arranged the evening with her class (she’s social director for foreign students studying in Montpellier) for the day after I left, but alas no, I could not leave and therefore ventured to the Australian pub.

Now you must be thinking, why so much shilly-shallying dilly-dallying vacillation about going to an Aussie pub, you are after all an Aussie… this is the kind of ‘Australian’ place that spells Canberra ‘Camberra’ and thinks we all go ‘bus-waking’ for a hobbie.

So there I was the only Australian an extremely crowded ‘Aussie’ pub. Do you guys remember the first lesson of French you ever had… well I can guarantee that it probably went something like:

What’s the weather today?
Is it hot? Is it cold? Are you hot? Are you cold?

And you would’ve learnt as I did that you have to ‘have’ hotness or coldness otherwise it has very bad sexual connotations (Je suis chaud, Je suis Froid = I am horny, I am frigid)

Ok so… as I there standing in the Aussie pub, doing my best to look as un-Australian as possible so they don’t ask me to get on the bar and sing the national anthem or something, and fanning myself, well, because it was stinking bloody hot (something to do with the Australian theme?). And what should happen but some nice young French lad asked me if I’m feeling a bit over heated… well I would reply, naturally, Oh yes, I am horny!

Right. Quick exit s’il vous plait…